Monday, September 16, 2013

Were my life a cartoon...

This post needs a precursor:  I am going deep here... and heart felt.

I really hate mice.  Phew!  Glad that is off my chest!  I mean I love me some Fievel, he is adorable, and I would totally sing some "Dreams to Dream".  I have always longed to have the Disney princess moment... then I saw Enchanted and it no longer held the splendor.  The reality is however... not the same.

I think my hate started in our first year of marriage.  We had purchased our house and I was home alone working on the bathroom that didn't function when I saw the dreaded dark movement next to one of my toes.  "You'll be okay Rachel.  Just breath.  It was probably just you mind playing tricks on you" I told myself as my heart rate spiked as if I were in the midst of a long distance run.  Slowing I took a step back and started to lean down, convinced I was tricking myself.  

My face breached the darkness, my ears stretching to pick up any nuance when out of the darkness just feet from my face it charged.  I am not kidding you.  It charged my face.  I nearly tripped on myself as I sprang, sprinting out of the bathroom... the mouse/rat was nipping at my heels as I charged down the hall looking for any escape.  Reaching the living room I vaulted myself over the back of the couch and reached for my cell phone.  

Frantically I hit my speed dial, with each moment that passed I could hear the little claws trying to make their way to me.  The phone rang and rang.  I must have called Chris 4 times before he finally picked up.  He was at work and tried as best he could to call my hysteria, "Rachel, there is no way the mouse is trying to get you".  I held the phone up to the couch so he could hear the little evil claws and their deep intent to kill me.  I swear I could hear the sadistic mouse's intent to maim or kill!  

"I swear Rachel they can't climb"  Where Chris' words of comfort... lies!  I sat on that couch frozen.  With each moment the clawing came closer and closer.  Chris found me hours later, my legs were asleep and my heart still racing as I watched the couch cushion next to me move.  I swear it was moments away from getting to me!

No one ever believes me.  I mean honestly I have never had a mouse attack me before so I understand but it totally happened... well maybe not the "nipping at my heels" bit but the rest totally did!  Thus the other night in our small apartment when Chris turned to me and in his "father" voice told me to stay exactly where I was I started to panic.  He uses this voice when something terrible is happening.  He told me later that he thought he saw a mouse.  I assumed he was mistaken.  We keep a clean house and I don't leave food out but the other night I came out in the middle of the night with the mouse on the couch. It was like the scene from Ratatouille only terrible!

So here's too my life becoming a cartoon that way the mouse and I can friends... with no fear of his trying to eat me! 

Live. Love. Loud.

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