Thursday, March 27, 2014

Confessions, Competitions and Crazies

Portrait Palooza | Raleigh Engagement photography | Photography Competitions I struggle with where and when to be vulnerable.  I'm not one who wears my heart on my sleeve but when it comes to my photography I am more sensitive.  People tend to feel better about themselves when comparing to those around them who are lacking.  This is true in every avenue of life, as I am sure you have seen, witnessed and felt.  There are very little exceptions to this.  Sadly it is our natural tendency... it works somehow for us.  If someone else is lesser then we by default are greater?

(This is an image from me taking on that challenge and trying my hand at a competition)

In my personal life I feel like the protector.  I feel like I am some type of social hero ready to jump into my cape and floaty and save all!  However when it comes to my photography I am oddly quite and held up.  I feel protective and safe in my silent corner.  Why put yourself out there if you could get hurt?

Why is it that all so often we decided that the possibility of hurt is worse than the inevitability of lacking the experience?  Why is it that I feel better about staying held up alone then chancing to put myself out there?

When I was little my mom would often say, "What's the worst that can happen?"  When you want something and you ask... they say no?  They laugh?  They point and scoff?  When you want something and you don't ask... you don't even get the chance.  You are left at the starting gate because you were unwilling to try.

Why is it that despite our knowing this we seem contented to handicap our chances at the possibility of unacceptable?

I get so tired of myself and my timid worries of being shunned that I shun myself.  This makes no sense yet I can watch the pattern cycle over and over.

I stop today... at least for today.  I choose to start up today with boldness and place myself into something foreign, uncomfortable and stretching.

Live. Love. Loud.

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