Tuesday, December 9, 2014

As Luna Grows...

I have all these thoughts and intentions of sharing different funny aspects of life with you all but by the time the day has ended and I have the possibility to type to my heart's content (so long as I'm willing to cut back on some sleep) the words leave me.  The day with Luna, work and keeping up the day to day and I get lost in the shuffle.

Funny stories of things and how I thought they would be verses reality.  I swear when I think of them they are funny, poignant and often self deprecating in a light and real way.  

I love my daughter, more than I ever thought I would.  But at times it would be nice to have a day of me... I mean she isn't that much work so much as it is I have to work around her schedule.  I get 4 min here or 12 min there but you can't sit down, or I guess I don't/can't, and read a book and enjoy it with a 4 min slot.  It's hard to wash dishes, or get much done in 4 min.  

I want to spoil myself and just slowly walk the aisles of the local grocery store... not having to think of nap time or when she ate or was changed.  Just walk... slowly browsing.  Not even with the intention of buying half of what I look over.  Just to be.  

But then my daughter wakes up, putting my work on hold, and at times I get perturbed... then she smiles and I melt.  It isn't her fault she needs me or has to eat so often or any of it.

And she has come so far.  From her early 3 hour cycle of doom to now when she is sitting on her own and babbling away.  It is a miracle that is set up for my personal viewing.  People say that having a baby changes you but you have no idea that the reality could be so true.

I always felt like it was a real jerk thing to say, "well wait till you have kids" and in a way it still can be, but for me personally I am extremely different then I was before Luna blessed my life... with all her throw up, poop and smiles.

And it isn't just the silly stuff like you'd think you could feel/realize when you have spit up running down your body, or you'd care that you some how have someone else's poop on your leg but it is even down to my priorities and my passion and... well a lot of things.  I mean I'm still sarcastic, still in love with shoes and photography and enjoy talking about all things not baby (no really... it is super nice to talk about pretty much anything else... save for maybe football... I have nothing to say.  The ball looks like a lemon... come'on!).

So if you are like I was unsure of whether the selfless nature of children should be something you volunteer for know that if it is thrown out there you will adapt and not mind (got to love those hormones... save for what's the deal with loosing my keys and forgetting EVERYTHING??).

So here are my ramblings in a confession sort of way...

Live. Love. Loud.

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