Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Confessions... life...

I let life take over sometimes. It is like I'm lost in the rapids and instead of trying to make my way to the side I decide that it might just be better to sip a margarita and pretend that I paid for a gaunt down the river. I escape the reality for a moment. If it is simple as ignoring the clothes that need washing or the blogs that need writing and instead I sip my water, eat a few handfuls of chocolate morsels and breath deep and heavy at just being.

(yes I know super old picture but my CPU was out so give me a break :D)

You forget the awesome it is to just be alone when you don't have it threatened. I mean I have dreams now... they would seem silly to anyone who isn't a mom... they seem silly to me but they are still my dreams. Like I want to walk the aisle of the grocery store as slowly as I want. Like strolling pace. Stop and look at food products I will never buy cause I honestly am at a loss for what they are let alone their use in this world. I want to sit and watch movies all day or I want to be able to bake without knowing that if I don't do it quickly enough Luna will fall on her head and start screaming.

I love my daughter. I never would have thought I could love someone as much as I love her but there are times I just want to have the freedom to for hours on end think of no one but myself. I know it is a selfish desire but I can't help it. I want to float back to the before times when I could crash a coffee house and sip some fru-fru drink and edit pictures, scour articles and nip and tuck my website.

So here is to silly selfish day dreams that might just happen...

Live. Love. Loud.

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