Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Luna Snow

Late in coming but I had to share this cutie enjoying a few moments of snow this February.  I would say we are out of the woods for any cold weather but let's be serious we are in NC here so you never know what tomorrow's weather will be like.  So here is to accepting the adventure that is NC weather and enjoying each moment as it comes!

Live. Love. Loud.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Confessing. Dark, Quite, Sleepless.

The dark living room as my friend.  I write to you.

Do you ever find yourself awake, unable to sleep thinking?  I swear I wish I had a swtich.  It would be so nice to just flip and conk out.  Chris seems to have it.  He sleeps soundly in our bed while my brain ticks away.

Generally it is filled with all the things that make up my life.  Tonight it is focused on my business and I can't seem to make it quit.

I like who I am most all of the time.  I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea, honestly that's part of why I write the blog.  I figure if I put enough of myself out there when I bride starts looking around for a phototgrapher she will know what she is getting with me... I mean there are hundreds of local photographers who are great... what sets me apart is  the "me".  But back to the point: I'm not loved by all.  I know it.  I'm a hard pill to swollow for some, but over all I enjoy me.  There are times, right now to be exact that I wish I could change aspects of myself... namely I'd like to be more chill.

Photo thanks to Quotes Says

Don't get me wrong I can hang out with the best of them but I'm a planner, thinker, designer, ponder-er.  I don't let things just happen.  I don't just do.  Every action is on purpose and I have thought through why I am doing it.  Which has its benefits but currently those benefits elude me much like sleep.

Am I the only one who lays awake in bed wondering if I'd be better off getting up and working then laying there wishing to sleep?  I know how tired I'll be in the morning but whether I lay there in bed wishing for sleep or if I leave the warmth and move to my keyboard and set working, I'm looking at lack of sleep so why not work?

I want to be more.  I want to have the answers.  I want to break the mold.  I want to set records.  I want adventure.  I want... so much yet I fall into question on how to achieve.  I read articles, look at pinterest and take classes but I never seem to get ahead of my brain, my desires.  I feel like a kid learning how to skate... gracefully is the last word that comes to mind.

I second guess myself.  I want to compromise my business plan in lulling times.

It looks so easy from the outside.  The smiling faces, the $$ rolling in... the reality of a business owner is a lot of self doubt... or at least with this business owner.  The more I read and study it becomes clear that there are a lot of right answers but what is mine?  I question to the void that is the vast internet.

Do you read this?  Do you care?  Do you struggle?

To the last question, assuming that there is a sole other then my sad tired soul reading this silly rambling is yes... at least in some way or another I figure we all struggle.  Why is it then when I struggle I feel so alone in my struggle?  I am not the only person.  Nothing new under the sun and what not but yet here I am adolcently thinking "I'm the only person to feel this way".  Are we destined to the silly tendency of isolation?  Why are we so scared to let people know we don't have it together?  Do I really think you all (any who might read this) have your life exactly where you want it?  Is that possible?  Do we ever arrive?

I feel like I'm always a working progress... only sometimes it feels like I am just locked on a loading screen.  Like I've opened too many tabs on the internet and the CPU or my life is unable to load the page I'm trying to access...

So here's to accepting:
I don't have it all together
That it's ok to be real, to have faults, to fail/fall down
I can't improve if I don't face my fears
No forward movement can ever be made if I'm always pretending to have it all together.

Here's to tomorrow being a new day.  Here's to remembering that I can't do it all on my own.  Here's to a hope that's bigger than me.

If you have woes and you need to share them know I'm always here to listen too!  I'm great at listening to venting and inserting an "Oh, no he didn't" in at just the right time... ask my near and dear :D

Live. Love. Loud.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Bewilderingly Romantic

When I was getting married I knew I wanted to change my name.  I like the tradition.  It seemed so romantic... until I started the process.  Who knew how hard it would be?  Ok, well every bride before me but no one share the wisdom they had with me.  I sat in the Social Security office for an entire day waiting my turn only to find out I didn't have everything they wanted because their website stated what the federal office wanted not the local federal office... yea that's a thing!!

So to my utter bewilderment I did finally get all my documentation changed over but had I known of the ease in which it could have transpired I would have literally skipped... all of the places!

I found this site which I'm sure most of you have but for those of you like me I share it with you.  It is called Hitch Switch.

It makes the full process simple.  It helps you every step of the way.  Giving your the correct documentation. Telling you what can be submitted in mail and what has to be submitted in person.  It makes the full process simple and ready for you whenever or if  ever you decide to change your name.  But don't take my word: take a look!!

Live. Love. Loud.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Blessed and counting

I know people watch the news... I know I should but I don't.  I don't like it.  I'd rather get a bulleton list of world events and miss all the melodramtic emphasis on all the terrible that goes on in the world.  It is the same reason I don't generally like movies based in real life.  I have enough real life in my own real life thank you.  When I go watch a movie I want to relax and enjoy the silly explosions, the bad guy getting what he "deserves", to laugh at the situations that don't really happen, swoon when the guy says the line only Austen could write... I want to relax and excape.

You're welcome :D

That being said, my life is pretty norm.  I have loads of things that go wrong.  I fail more often then I'll ever admit.  Don't even get me started on how you can't believe all that you see on Pinterest (or I'm just completely lacking in all skills Pinterest related), I have things I long for, I have dreams that elude me... but over all I have a pretty great life.

Often I over look my blessings.  Do you ever do that?  I mean really stop, even in your most down moment, and ponder what you have been given.  NO, I don't go so far as "Kids starving in Africa"... you don't need to.  I'm not homeless.  I have a nice roof over my head, that is clean (so long as I'm not tweaking from lack of sleep), I have a husband whom I love and who loves me (yes, all the work and all that included: when in doubt about how to love = stop and remember what you fell in love with them for in the first place), I have a daughter I get to watch develop, who is healthy and pretty clever considering, I have family around willing to help if needed, I have friends... oh so dear friends (old, new and dear!), I have a job I love, I get to walk each day with my daughter and talk to her about the things we pass...

You get the idea.  If you stop for a moment and think over your life: I bet you're pretty blessed too... maybe not as much but I bet you can find at least one thing.  So today I am taking the moment to relish on the good.  To set my eyes on what is postive and I will not let myself get taken down by my endless to do's, my crying daughter, failed dinner, slow business, seemingly endless dirty floor, etc

I push it all aside and invite you to take a deep breath or crisp winter air (depending on where you are I guess) and enjoy that today is the only TODAY we have!

God bless you!  If you need to rant remember I'm always here :D

Live. Love. Loud.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

24mm 1.4 Welcome!

I added a new member to my beautiful photo family.!  I could not be more excited! It is the Nikon 24mm 1.4 and it is a dream.

It is perfect for photographing getting ready in tight spots, large group formals, getting all the action on the dance floor... you name it.  I have been drooling over this lens for a long time and it was time to take the plunge!

Though this isn't my go to lens just yet I am quickly falling in love.  I would not suggest this lens as an all around lens if you are first starting out for that I always lean towards the 50mm or the 35mm (obviously depending on your use but as a general rule :D)

Interested in my other gear and thoughts check out my other posts about:
My Reflector
My Camera
My 35mm
My 50mm
My 85mm
The App

Live. Love. Loud.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Marching on...

Did you see what I did there?  Tehee (Yes, that was a terrible pun, what can I say Chris is rubbing off on me)

If you have read my blog for any time at all there a few things you'll know about me.  I am largely me... like don't quite know how not to be me.  I'm quirky, goofy and ready to make a fool of myself at a drop of a hat.  And one last thing that is abundantly clear: I LOVE lists.

Photo thanks to Coolnsmart

My life seems more clear, more doable with lists.  I have lists for my lists.  And a part of my crazy list making is my monthly goals.  It is a way for me to put down all that I desire/need to do in a month and I put them here so that I have to do them or suffer embarrassment!  So this month is the first of the year that I am back to my monthly goals.  So here I lay out before you my GET THIS DONE list for March


Get active: at least 3 times a week do a minimum of 30 min active exercise.
Spend less time out of town
Keep house "orderly"
Go on a date with Chris


Take time each week to have a mini date with my camera
Tweak Website: photos, personal, etc
Meet up with another professional for encouragement and marketing
Design Sample album

What helps you run your life?  I mean I love my lists but what helps you??

Live. Love. Loud.