(This was taken about... 2 hours after I found out I was pregnant with Luna.)
I am still me but... I'm so different all at the same time. Before I had a child I was a lot of things that are still here but I was rather... unfeeling? We shall call it that. I'm not a really emotional person, never have been. Before Luna I lacked a deep amount of compassion or heart. I wanted to be almost fully impenetrable and for the most part I was. You can ask my family, most would say they never saw me cry and if they did it was very rare. It was almost a pride thing for me.
If I didn't feel I couldn't hurt. The statement sounds fair but the lie is deep. When you don't feel you don't experience.
God, Chris and Luna changed my cold unfeeling heart instead of Joni Mitchell.
I feel weird every time my emotions "run away with me". It feels strange, wrong but great at the same time.
I love feeling... mostly :D It is nice to see hurt and hurt for them instead of ... being uncomfortable and wanting to run away.
I may experience more sorrow, tears and sadness but I also feel more joy then ever before. Between learning to sacrifice so much of myself and those lovely hormones that come with motherhood: I feel.
It is nice; change is nice.
Live. Love. Loud.