Thursday, July 9, 2015

Insanity in Motherhood

I sit on my couch with my laptop across my legs as I lookout into my living room.  The house looks pretty good considering the tornado that is Luna lives here.  There are a few items across my formal settee (yes, I did have an adult home at one point), there is a laundry basket that has for the day at least made it's home near my daughters basket of toys.  I ignore it all to talk with you!  Why?  Besides the pure bliss of not cleaning up?  To tell you the tale of the things they don't tell you.

My amazing sister came to spend some time with me earlier and it got me thinking about all the things that people leave out when they tell you about having kids.  They don't forget about the sleep, or the stuff, or the bodily fluids but they do forget some key factors.

My brain is shot.  I remember when I didn't have to have lists or lists for my lists.  I remember when I could focus without effort or what seems like determination that only God can delve out.

Maybe I'm alone in this feeling but if I don't take a day to plan out my days then nothing happens.  I can't just remember to do things... EVER?!?  Why?  I don't know I feel like as a part of the Luna coming out took my brain.  I could still think and function when pregnant but after... now?  I mean I sit there in front of the fridge with the door open contemplating why I'm standing there only to realize a few minutes later that I was going in to grab water.

I feel like a crazy person. I want to be able to remember what it is I need at the store (when it is less than 5 items) without having a list!  I feel like that isn't a huge wish... I feel like that should be doable.  I want to be able to not loose my train of thought...

What was I saying?

But for reals it is almost that bad at times.

So here is to a world that one day we get our brains back!  And here is to the wonder of our kids that we love enough to deal with going partially insane :D

Live. Love. Loud.

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